Islamic State open rug franchise in Baghdad

Terror based organisation, Islamic State (ISIS) have partnered with hair growth company Advanced Hair Studio. The extremist group have announced there’ll be hell Toupay* if the West intervene.

A spokesman from IS issued a statement confirming the new strategic direction. “Our business is growing and so is our Headcount. Overhead costs need to shaved and further cost cutting measures are inevitable. To this end, we’ve engaged a Headhunting firm to recruit Al ‘Chainsaw’ Dunlap to Execute our strategy”

The IS model is simple:
The more hair you lose, the more head you’ll get.
Because at Islamic State, your head is in our hands

aP

*Correct spelling is ‘Toupee’ but some might pronounce it as Too Pee which wouldn’t work for the purpose of comedy

 

Siriously

Finally, a woman that understands me: Siri

She listens, speaks only when spoken to, follows instructions, is logical, intelligent, obedient and can Cook.
She exists only to serve her man. And its not me

Turns out that man is Tim Cook
Turns out she keeps no secrets at all

aP

Google Docs

Gone Missing: Letter to the Editor
How could this typo happen?
It’s Simple. 3 Reasons

The Age


1. Spellcheck = Ignored
2. Editor = Retrenched

3. Journalist = Cadet

At least I learnt something from the article. ‘Heath’ is a tract of wasteland, a shrubland habitat with infertile, acidic soils

Guess where I learnt that

aP

The oestrogen we had to have 

Commentary on Australia’s PM, Julia Gillard and her Machiavellian play to take the top job from a beleaguered Kevin Rudd. She delivered the news with a much publicised late night visit to his office in 2010….That was then and

This is now, June 2013. Speculation is mounting of a Kevin Rudd comeback having spent the last 3 years plotting his next course. Who knows, he may just have the last laugh.

 

 

aP

Political Knock Knockers

Mayday Mayday Appeal

Good Friday Appeal 
Donate now to PlanetFarkthat

A charitable message from the Director of Profiteering, Innovation, Donation Wealth Creation and Ethics at PlanetFarkthat, a commercial charity intent on saving..

Time is running out. Donate now before its too late.
To those who have already donated, thank you and please consider the following:

If you double your pledged amount, your goodwill gesture will be acknowledged on the “Planetfarkthat” social media channel.

If you triple it, the Director will donate 50% to aid the Nepalese earthquake victims.

If you quadruple it, he will donate 50% to feed the homeless.

If you quintuple your donation, he will donate 50% to help sick children live and help sick adults die.

If you sextuple your donation, he will buy a poppy farm to commemorate our dead soldiers. Then he will harvest the opium to kill pain in people and kill people in pain. The Director says the global demand for this alkaloid and its derivative generate massive profits and with these profits he can then fund all the other charities and bleeding hearts asking for money.
He can save.. with your money.

Farkthat. Give time. Andrew Chan and Myuran Sukumaran did.

Poppy you are a duplicitous flower
Will we see bunches of you at their funerals?
Didn’t think so

aP