Federal Politics in Australia
If you don’t Stand for something, you’ll fall for anything
The Greens…what do they Stand for?
Lets find out
The Greens…what do they Stand for?
Lets find out
In the Christian calendar, Good Friday marks the beginning of Easter as we remember the day Jesus, the Son of God was Murdered
First Tortured and then Crucified
Hardly a Good day in my book
At least he could hang out with Dad again
But it was to be a short lived re-union
The Old Man sent him back
To finish what he’d started
Jesus put his emotional needs to one side
This wasn’t about him
It was about us and all of our Sins
So 3 days later he was back
Jesus, the Son of God had pulled a rabbit out of the hat
Back from the dead. That was Impressive
But in celebrating and remembering his miraculous Resurrection
We get the Chocolates..
And on his Birthday? No Cigar there either
We get all the presents
So any speculation of the Messiah returning some day ends here
He won’t be making another comeback
Why would he after his last trip?
Plus he’s got other Worlds to Save
We had our chance
No matter what you believe
For the pious..thank God for the Holyday
For everyone else..thank Goodness for the Holiday
Either way, it’s a day off work
It’s All Good
In the writ Bubbles makes a number of explosive allegations about lewd sex acts at the Jackson mansion, Neverland. He claims sexual rituals and games like, “Spank the Monkey”, “Blowing Bubbles” and “Swinging” were daily activities inside the Jackson compound.
Bubbles also implicated Debbie Rowe, the Mother of Jackson’s two children as a regular participant in group activities. The Chimp said he was intimate with Rowe on many occasions and, get this, alleges they have a child together. And that child was none other than Canadian Crooner, Michael Bublè.
The twisted perversion continues. Bubbles has filed a paternity suit seeking sole custody. Bubbles hopes to show his son the Family Tree and his position in it. Lawyers will argue despite being a Monkey, Bubbles shouldn’t be denied access to his offspring.
Frenzied gossip columnists and media organisations were falling over themselves trying to confirm these astonishing revelations. Mr Bublè couldn’t be reached. No surprise there. He was probably still in shock trying to wrap his noodle around his new found status as part ape and part man.
Jackson had been dead for years. So the Media thought God might answer their questions but he was in a meeting and unavailable for comment. However, they did manage to get a hold of God’s spokesperson, Mr George Burns.
Mr Burns confirmed that Michael Jackson had indeed arrived at the gates of heaven but was promptly turned away. Burns went on to say and I quote:
“Michael was heard singing I’m Bad, I’m Bad as he ascended the Stairway to Heaven. When he Knock Knocked on Heavens Door, God told him to tell HisStory walking. MoonWalking or by any other means. …. God didn’t care.
His message to the gifted freak was clear and final.
Don’t Blame your shameful tale of woe on the Boogie-man, Billie Jean or Narcotics.
Take a long hard look at the Man in the Mirror.
Now Beat it. Just Beat It.
And with that, the Pearly Gates of Heaven slammed shut.” said Burns
Michael did look. He grabbed a mirror Off the Wall and saw a person neither Black nor White. As he made his way down to Hell was heard singing, My Bad, My Bad..
Maybe I misread the article or read too much into it
But as i see it, Mutt reckons people in Geelong should bring their Pets along to Swinger parties in an effort to curtail the recent explosion in population growth…WTF?
He’s gone so far off the reservation I almost felt sorry for him
Mr Mutt Gay is one sick Puppy if he thinks that
But before I could say, RUOK?
He went further off tap
With a promise to build a School of Erotism
Just for kids….Was this guy serious?
Too late now but RU486, the morning after pill would’ve been ideal for this head case
Hang on. Something’s not quite right here
Could I have Misinterpreted something?
And yes, this is Australian Politics and few nations do weird and bizarre better than our Politicians
But even by our standards, they’ve really dialled in the Loco factor here
Have I taken something out of Context?
What am I not seeing?
I’ll admit that my eyes aren’t what they once were
And figured now was a good time for my annual OPSM checkup
So off we went
But OPSM Store security refused us entry
I should’ve gone to Spec Savers first
At least they were working dog friendly
Not anymore though
Spec Savers banned us for life
All because some young Autistic kid tried to slot a 20 cent coin into the top of my dog’s skull
The simpleton kept trying until finally Fred snapped and bit the dim bastard
Braille is now my best friend
After Fred was destroyed by the authorities
A Misunderstanding they said
Sorry Guy. Sorry Andrew or whatever your bloody names are
Perhaps my distorted interpretation has caused you grief
But it’s my opinion. Misguided and Misinformed as it maybe
Let’s not call it Slander
Let’s not call it a Mistake
Let’s put this down, just like you did to Fred
To a little Misunderstanding
No hard feelings eh
Am I Happy today? You Bet
As for tomorrow, No Idea
The Happiness Curve. We all have our Ups and Downs
It’s only Natural
Peaks and Valleys
and then planetBudge gets creative suggesting Ground control back on Earth had forgotten to send coffee beans up with the expresso machine.
Here’s the conversation between the Space Station (NASAcafe) and Ground Control (NesCafe)
NASAcafe: Where are the Coffee Beans?
NesCafe: Here at Ground Control
NASAcafe: Waddaya mean how..How Long before you get em up here?
NesCafe: How Long is in Vietnam
NASAcafe: Don’t get cute with me Ground control. Just Bean them up
NesCafe: Like a giant Coffee Beanstalk?
NASAcafe: No not a Beanstalk…For fucks sake you little stick fiddler, get my beans teleported up here. We need our caffeine
NesCafe: Just to clarify, did you mean Beam instead of Bean?
NASAcafe: YES I MEAN BEAM NOT BEAN.. Now just Beam them up. This instant
NesCafe: On its way
NASAcafe: Received 1 bottle of Jim Beam. Thanks. Fuck the Expresso
Good grief. The Commander in Chief has a clear majority in both Houses of Congress giving him a mandate to run the country.
Michael Moore, award winning political filmmaker is set to begin work on the sequel to Fahrenheit 911, called “Celsius 100 Million”
Tick tock tick tock