Wake Up Australia

By Adrian Payne

If you believe morality has a place in modern sport, you probably also believe Santa Claus lives at the North Pole. Get real Australia. Lift the ban on Performance Enhancing Drugs.

Allegations of widespread professional doping inside the AFL and NRL has left the nation shell shocked. There will be plenty of casualties in the battle that looms between administrators, regulators, law enforcement, players and club officials. Stephen Dank has already fired the first shot by launching a $10 million defamation lawsuit against various media outlets. A pre-emptive strike no doubt inspired by Lance Armstrong’s mantra that offense is the best method of defense hoping to deter others tempted to dig further. But what I’ve found most alarming is the general publics reaction of shock and horror. They are genuinely surprised by these revelations. People are entitled to feel betrayed and gutted at the grim prospect of widespread doping practices within their sacred sport. But don’t be surprised. It’s simply naive to think elite sport people are clean.
Wake up Australia. 

Professional sport is NOT about providing role models for our children. That ship sailed long ago. It’s big business. It’s about highest scores, fastest times, world records and medals. It’s all about winning.

So why not give the green light to performance enhancing drugs?  Let athletes take whatever they like, so long as it’s not illicit. Illegal drugs are a different matter entirely. With doping bans lifted, who knows, we may get to witness Usain Bolt running 100 metres in under 5 seconds. Or the footy season could be extended to 52 weeks per year. It makes no sense for society to keep placing ever greater demands upon athletes for success yet take the moral high ground when a scandal like this erupts. We banish losers and celebrate winners. Winners are bathed in glory and wealth.  With such powerful forces motivating athletes to be “Simply the Best” surely people can’t be surprised that drugs are used to boost performance.
Wake up Australia.

Many will argue that allowing performance enhancing drugs is irresponsible and may reduce athlete life expectancy. And of course the old chestnut about the message this would send to our children. I’ll say it again, sport is about winning. It is NOT about being role models for our kids. It’s big business.
Wake up Australia. 

Performance enhancing drugs are here to stay. Governing bodies need to think through a new paradigm. Afterall, it was progressive thinking that decriminalised homosexual acts in Australia in 1969. So in less than one generation our laws have changed from it being a crime to being legally recognised. And two thousand years ago, the Romans used to feed Christians to hungry Lions.  Back then it was considered normal. Today our society is very different. Point being; we need policies and laws that are in step with modern day reality.

The sooner they lift all bans on performance enhancing drugs the better. And it will happen. It might not be in my lifetime but down the road, it’ll become a reality. So let’s start the discussion. Obviously there will be resistance as the many vested interests fight to justify their existence. Currently, the anti-doping agencies are locked in a cat and mouse game with those seeking to avoid detection. Careers are on the line. But lift the ban and the tables turn as the anti doping industry becomes redundant.

But until that day, get outraged, vent your spleen and then get over it. Drugs in sport are here to stay.
Wake up Australia. 

aP

Good Mourning America

Donald Trump and his rug become the 45th President of the United States

Good grief. The Commander in Chief has a clear majority in both Houses of Congress giving him a mandate to run the country. 

Michael Moore, award winning political filmmaker is set to begin work on the sequel to Fahrenheit 911, called “Celsius 100 Million” 

Donald Trump
Tick tock tick tock

aP

Forecast Errors

Economists, Pollsters, Futurists…there’s certainly no shortage of ‘experts’ ready to predict the future in confident and unambiguous tones.
But why do they often get it so terribly wrong?

When we look back in the past, whatever it is, be it our own experiences, the GFC, or whatever, we rationalise that whatever the thing was that happened was always going to happen. Like it was somehow inevitable.

With the benefit of hindsight, it’s easy to tell a cohesive, rational explanation of what happened and if only we had used common sense, this thing could have been avoided.

But when we’re in the present moment living our complicated lives and looking ahead, the answer is not so clear as uncertainty prevails.

forecast-mugs

In other words, we’re really deceiving ourselves into believing we understand something that in fact we don’t.

The media are more likely to give airtime to forecasters that are certain and decisive. The pundits that hedge or provide a more circumspect answer are often overlooked by the media.

One thing you can be certain of
Forecasting is a mugs game

aP

Malcolm Speed Ball

Background:
In July 2016, former Australian Labor Party [ALP] Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd’s nomination for the UN Secretary General role was rejected. He claims he was betrayed by current Liberal Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull who initially endorsed his nomination and then rejected it. Humiliated and bitter, Rudd went on a media blitz challenging Turnbull to explain.
In 2010, former Liberal Party Prime Minister and cricket tragic, John Howard was unsuccessful in his bid to become President of the International Cricket Council [ICC] without any meaningful explanation despite having all the credentials. 

Turf Wars. It’s just not Cricket.  It’s Political..

Kevin Rudd clean bowled by a Malcolm Turnbull fast curve ball which hit Middle stump.
Rudd despatched without score.

John Howard run out when he was a shoo-in for the International Cricket Council (ICC) Presidency back in 2010.
Malcolm Speed, former ICC Chief Executive was Stumped
Both failed to score.

But It’s just not Cricket

Kevin was on the Left
John was on the Right
Malcolm was Right in the Middle of it

It’s Political and
It’s Personal

Over

aP

 

Malcolm on the Margins

The much maligned Malcolm Turnbull
I’ve been trying to align his image to one side of the page

Tried to align it to the Left. That came up Short

Tried to align Malcolm to the Middle. Still too Short.
That was an American Sitcom

Tried to align it to the Right. That was just Right
But he wanted it All Right and Right now

I couldn’t Justify it.
So I aligned his image to None

Not content playing a role in the peloton
Malcolm wanted to play his own game
This Man of Steal has no shame
He sent the Mad Monk peddling into the sunset

And now, in 2016, Malcolm is still on the Margins
On the edge of his Seat in a Divided House

Where you sit determines what you see
Australia is on the Margins

At least we’re all on the same page

aP

Malcolm Turnbull

ISS Expresso

Sipping Expresso in Outer Space…but they forgot one thing
Beans

ISS ExpressoSo Jack and Jim went up to Space to see what they could find

planetBudge sources got a hold of the dialogue from the Space Station to Ground Control to report on the findings:

 

NASAcafe:  Where are the Coffee Beans?

 

NesCafe: Here at Ground Control

NASAcafe:  No good to us down there. Get Beans here ASAP

 

NesCafe: How?

NASAcafe: Waddaya mean how..How Long before you get em up here?

 

NesCafe: How Long is in Vietnam

 

NASAcafe: Don’t get cute with me Ground control. Just Bean them up

 

NesCafe: Like a giant Coffee Beanstalk?

 

NASAcafe: No not a Beanstalk…For fucks sake you little stick fiddler, get my beans teleported up here. We need our caffeine

 

NesCafe: Just to clarify, did you mean Beam instead of Bean?

 

NASAcafe: YES I MEAN BEAM NOT BEAN.. Now just Beam them up. This instant

 

NesCafe: On its way

NASAcafe: Received 1 bottle of Jim Beam. Thanks. Fuck the Expresso

 

aP