A charitable message from the Director of Profiteering, Innovation, Donation Wealth Creation and Ethics at PlanetFarkthat, a commercial charity intent on saving..
Time is running out. Donate now before its too late.
To those who have already donated, thank you and please consider the following:
If you double your pledged amount, your goodwill gesture will be acknowledged on the “Planetfarkthat” social media channel.
If you triple it, the Director will donate 50% to aid the Nepalese earthquake victims.
If you quadruple it, he will donate 50% to feed the homeless.
If you quintuple your donation, he will donate 50% to help sick children live and help sick adults die.
If you sextuple your donation, he will buy a poppy farm to commemorate our dead soldiers. Then he will harvest the opium to kill pain in people and kill people in pain. The Director says the global demand for this alkaloid and its derivative generate massive profits and with these profits he can then fund all the other charities and bleeding hearts asking for money.
He can save.. with your money.
Farkthat. Give time. Andrew Chan and Myuran Sukumaran did.
Poppy you are a duplicitous flower Will we see bunches of you at their funerals?
Didn’t think so
Joel Madden, frontman for band Good Charlotte and star of The Voice has hit the headlines for possession of a joint. But it was no Record Haul. No charges are likely given the woefully small amount of Wacky Tobacci involved†¤….Gee, what a revelation. Drugs in the entertainment business!!……and at the other end of the spectrum we have a justice system that failed to protect Jill Meagher from a brutal murder by a savage on parole. Then the community erupts with outrage at the gross negligence of the legal system and demand answers so this travesty never happens again.
But you don’t need to look too far for answers. It’s us. We are to blame. We call the Police too quickly and too often for petty grievances or trivial matters. So instead of keeping killer rapists locked up, police resources are diverted into chasing down red neck racists having a rant on public transport.
Get vocal but Get Real. Use the Police resource wisely.
Think before you Dial.
The whole racism issue never seems to go away, especially in sport. In recent days much has been said about the Indigenous AFL superstar Adam Goodes. To make my point, I bring into the story AFL player Adam Cooney to represent the Anglo Saxons and use his surname as the basis for the vulgar reference, “Coon”, a term once used to describe Indigenous folk.
I had a dream. And in that dream a football match was played. It was Round 19 Sunday August 4th 2013 at Etihad Stadium. The Western Bulldogs versus the Sydney Swans.
The stage was set as two Brownlow medallists prepared to do battle. But the much anticipated contest had been overshadowed by concerns from some very nervous people in the media. Especially the commentators. They felt the Cooney Goodes match up was too risky to call. Nobody wanted to risk being vilified for innuendo or a perceived racial slur. It could be career ending. But there was no getting around it. Another slip of the tongue could result in a riot.
The 2013 Indigenous round had been a disaster and served only to perpetuate the very thing it was trying to eradicate. The AFL needed something, anything to put a stop to the bigotry still evident in our game.
And in this dream there was a solution. Adam Cooney and Adam Goodes looked at one another. They realised they shared more than a name. They were the same. They were both human.
They shook hands, returned to their respective teams and played a game of football
News of Eddie McGuire’s on air brain fade for suggesting that an indigenous AFL superstar be used to promote the King Kong movie has bewildered everyone on Planet Earth. And not just Earth. His mega gaff has gone inter galactic and created quite a stir on the Planet of the Apes.
Comparisons to humans have outraged many in the Ape kingdom. The Apes have gone…. well, they’ve gone completely ape shit at suggestions linking them to the human sub specie.
The Primates rallied to debunk the lineage myths of Intelligent Design and Evolutionary Theory. They concluded the Earthlings had a self destructive regressive mindset. Not the hallmarks of Intelligent beings.
The War of the Words will continue to divide. But Deeds shall unite.
X marks the spot. Senator Nick Xenophon is the second Australian diplomat in less than a week to earn the title…Prisoner X
Australian Senator, Nick Xenophon was detained at Malaysia’s Kuala Lumpur airport earlier today. Malaysian Immigration Officials said that a database technical glitch was responsible for putting the Senator on their “Watch list”
The database was interrogated at length. Many lines of queries run and every time, the same answer. Next to the checkbox labelled Political Persuasion was “Xenophobic”
Further investigations by Malay authorities revealed the Diplomatic incident occurred because a data entry clerk had incorrectly entered the Senator’s name as”Xenophobic”
The data entry clerk has been fired. By a squad of 12.
Two politicians from the Katter Australian Party (KAP) have bitten the dust for making inappropriate and bigoted homophobic comments. The first casualty was Tess Corbett. She has withdrawn her candidacy for a Senate seat after she linked homosexuality with pedophilia. And Queensland Senate candidate Bernard Gaynor was suspended from KAP after stating publicly his disapproval of gay teachers educating his children.
and I take the story from here
The Mad Hatter, founder of KAP, has outraged the community with the following very crude off coloured joke: ” What type of file do you use to make a hole the size of a ten cent piece into a hole the size of a twenty cent piece?…..a Pedophile.
He further added to community hysteria when asked about his attitude towards gay marriage. Specifically, about Cabinet member Penny Wong and her relationship with partner Sophie. He smugly remarked that two Wong’s don’t make a right.
The cantankerous Mad Hatter took exception to all the media attention. He didn’t understand what the fuss was about but acknowledged it was a public relations disaster. In an effort to salvage something for KAP, he sold the party message promising to keep Australia from sinking by plugging the ALP holes. “Get on board with KAP” was the slogan. Who was he kidding. He had no idea how he was going to plug the gaps. Anyway, if this day was a sign of things to come, the party would implode before the first sitting of Parliament as more gaffs and redneck vitriol would sink his dream. His Cabinet could very well end up looking like the “Penske file” popularised by Jerry Seinfeld. [The Penske file was an empty file carried around the office by someone wanting to look busy]
A wave of nausea swept over him as he made the connection. Indeed, his KAP was a proxy Penske file. Because if he was honest with himself, what did he really stand for? Nothing. Nothing that made sense anyway.
He shuddered, then shook his head to will such thoughts away. He grabbed his Akubra and made a dash for the exit leaving the journalists scratching their heads.
What do you get if you cross a Lion with a Dog and a Hero with a Villain? …..Jason Aka Manson
This is a tribute to Jason Akermanis, the champion Western Bulldogs AFL footballer sacked in 2010 because his team mates felt they couldn’t “trust him.” Weeks earlier he got the public offside by stating he didn’t think AFL culture was ready to embrace homosexual players into it’s ranks. And in 2006, he was sacked by the Brisbane Lions after a fall out with coach Leigh Matthews.
Aker was no Saint but the Western Bulldogs treated him like a Demon. Hence the Charles Manson reference.
In any event, Aker’s book “Open Season” should make for an interesting read.
“Few thinkers have succeeded in bringing the world of ideas beyond the ivory tower with such clarity and grace as Alain de Botton. In an event that extends one of the Wheeler Centre chief themes for the year, de Botton brings his light touch and intellectual pirouettes to religion. In his only Melbourne appearance, he discusses the provocative ideas in his latest book, Religion for Atheists, arguing why atheists and agnostics should stop mocking religions and steal from them instead”
The two shock jocks are set to form an alliance. It’s only a matter of time. When Alan ascends, he can sit next to Stan and together they can continue to broadcast their pompous self righteous opinions across heaven’s airwaves.
I decided to burn his inspiring book, “It’s not about the bike”…problem was, a week later the book was still burning thanks to elevated levels of oxygen inside the furnace. Yep, Lance, you certainly nailed the title. It clearly wasn’t about the bike.
However, the following YouTube clip IS about the bike and it’s incredible.