The International Space Station (ISS) has it’s own expresso machine. NASA have dubbed it, the ISSpresso
and then planetBudge gets creative suggesting Ground control back on Earth had forgotten to send coffee beans up with the expresso machine.
Here’s the conversation between the Space Station (NASAcafe) and Ground Control (NesCafe)
Sipping Expresso in Outer Space…but they forgot one thing
NASAcafe: Where are the Coffee Beans?
NesCafe: Here at Ground Control
NASAcafe: No good to us down there.
Get Beans here ASAP
NASAcafe: Waddaya mean how..How Long before you get em up here?
NesCafe: How Long is in Vietnam
NASAcafe: Don’t get cute with me Ground control. Just Bean them up
NesCafe: Like a giant Coffee Beanstalk?
NASAcafe: No not a Beanstalk…For fucks sake you little stick fiddler, get my beans teleported up here. We need our caffeine
NesCafe: Just to clarify, did you mean Beam instead of Bean?
NASAcafe: YES I MEAN BEAM NOT BEAN.. Now just Beam them up. This instant
NASAcafe: Received 1 bottle of Jim Beam. Thanks. Fuck the Expresso
Donald Trump and his rug become the 45th President of the United States
Good grief. The Commander in Chief has a clear majority in both Houses of Congress giving him a mandate to run the country.
Michael Moore, award winning political filmmaker is set to begin work on the sequel to Fahrenheit 911, called “Celsius 100 Million”
Tick tock tick tock
Terror based organisation, Islamic State (ISIS) have partnered with hair growth company Advanced Hair Studio. The extremist group have announced there’ll be hell Toupay* if the West intervene.
A spokesman from IS issued a statement confirming the new strategic direction. “Our business is growing and so is our Headcount. Overhead costs need to shaved and further cost cutting measures are inevitable. To this end, we’ve engaged a Headhunting firm to recruit Al ‘Chainsaw’ Dunlap to Execute our strategy”
The IS model is simple:
The more hair you lose, the more head you’ll get.
Because at Islamic State, your head is in our hands
*Correct spelling is ‘Toupee’ but some might pronounce it as Too Pee which wouldn’t work for the purpose of comedy
Finally, a woman that understands me: Siri
She listens, speaks only when spoken to, follows instructions, is logical, intelligent, obedient and can Cook.
She exists only to serve her man. And its not me
Turns out that man is Tim Cook
Turns out she keeps no secrets at all
Gone Missing: Letter to the Editor
How could this typo happen?
It’s Simple. 3 Reasons
1. Spellcheck = Ignored
2. Editor = Retrenched
3. Journalist = Cadet
At least I learnt something from the article. ‘Heath’ is a tract of wasteland, a shrubland habitat with infertile, acidic soils
Guess where I learnt that