God Friday

Thank God it’s Friday. But it’s no ordinary Friday. It’s Good Friday.

In the Christian calendar, Good Friday marks the beginning of Easter as we remember the day Jesus, the son of God was Murdered

First Tortured and then Crucified
That’s hardly a Good day in my book

At least he could hang out with Dad again
It’d been over 30 years since their last meeting
But his Superior and Disapproving Father promptly sent him back
To finish what he’d started

And so 3 days later Jesus made his comeback
He put his emotional needs to one side
This wasn’t about him. It was for us and all of our Sins

Jesus, the Son of God had pulled a rabbit out of the hat
By magically returning from the dead
Now that was impressive
But in celebrating and remembering his miraculous Resurrection
We celebrate with Rabbits and Chocolate

While I’m on the subject, how do you reckon Christians remember his Birthday?
With an old fat bloke dressed in a red suit flying through the night sky in an open sleigh powered by 12 time traveling reindeer

Any speculation of the Messiah returning some day ends here
He won’t be making another comeback

Why would he after his last trip?
Plus he’s got other worlds to save
We had our chance

No matter what you believe
For the pious..thank God for the Holyday
For everyone else..thank Goodness for the Holiday

Either way, it’s a day off work
It’s All Good

aP

Monkey Business at Neverland

NEWS FLASH

Lawyers acting for Bubbles, the Chimpanzee friend of the deceased pop icon, Michael Jackson, have launched legal action against the Jackson estate

In the writ Bubbles makes a number of explosive allegations about lewd sex acts at the Jackson mansion, Neverland. He claims sexual rituals and games like, “Spank the Monkey”, “Blowing Bubbles” and “Swinging” were daily activities inside the Jackson compound.

Bubbles also implicated Debbie Rowe, the Mother of Jackson’s two children as a regular participant in group activities. The Chimp said he was intimate with Rowe on many occasions and, get this, alleges they have a child together. And that child was none other than Canadian Crooner, Michael Bublè.

The twisted perversion continues. Bubbles has filed a paternity suit seeking sole custody. Bubbles hopes to show his son the Family Tree and his position in it. Lawyers will argue despite being a Monkey, Bubbles shouldn’t be denied access to his offspring.

Frenzied gossip columnists and media organisations were falling over themselves trying to confirm these astonishing revelations. Mr Bublè couldn’t be reached. No surprise there. He was probably still in shock trying to wrap his noodle around his new found status as part ape and part man. 

Jackson had been dead for years. So the Media thought God might answer their questions but he was in a meeting and unavailable for comment. However, they did manage to get a hold of God’s spokesperson, Mr George Burns.

Mr Burns confirmed that Michael Jackson had indeed arrived at the gates of heaven but was promptly turned away. Burns went on to say and I quote:

“Michael was heard singing I’m Bad, I’m Bad as he ascended the Stairway to Heaven. When he Knock Knocked on Heavens Door, God told him to tell HisStory walking. MoonWalking or by any other means. …. God didn’t care.
His message to the gifted freak was clear and final.

Don’t Blame your shameful tale of woe on the Boogie-man, Billie Jean or Narcotics.
Take a long hard look at the Man in the Mirror.
Now Beat it. Just Beat It.

And with that, the Pearly Gates of Heaven slammed shut.” said Burns

Michael did look. He grabbed a mirror Off the Wall and saw a person neither Black nor White. As he made his way down to Hell was heard singing, My Bad, My Bad..

 

aP

 

Hive Voltage

Don’t get stung by greedy power companies

Bee Power

Danger: Hive Voltage

Look up and Save 

Look up and Save

Solar Flower Power

 

aP

Search for Happiness

Look no further
Happiness is Right Here. Right NowGiant Russians

Happiness is found between the Ears
So use them and listen to this wisdom below 


And if you’re still feeling flat, click on the Sunflower video and watch the transformation from Weeds to Wonder unfold before your eyes. 

Still not Happy?
Neither were 6 out of the 7 Dwarfs


aP

Audio Source: Everybody’s Free (To wear Sunscreen)
Artist: Quindon Tarver 1999

From the Romeo and Juliet soundtrack

 

Fathers Day

Happy Father’s Day to a special man

Generous, loving, forgiving and full of magical surprises, my father is responsible for so many happy memories

Sadly, our relationship isn’t what it used to be
When I wanted to learn more about him, he became more distant
Eventually he chose to ignore my attempts to connect
Inevitably, we drifted apart

I don’t see him anymore but I know where he lives
He’s busy tending to the lives of others
Despite being Poles apart
For me, Father’s Day will always be December 25th

So Happy Father’s Day, Father Christmas

aP

Malcolm on the Margins

Politics in Australia. There’s a Faction too much Fiction

What do our Politicians stand for these days and where do they sit on the political spectrum. Left, Right or somewhere in the Middle?

Don’t bother asking the Politicians. You gotta work it out yourself.
Take Malcolm Turnbull for example


I’ve been trying align his image to one side of the page

Tried to align it to the Left. That came up Short

Tried to align Malcolm in the Middle. Still too Short
And that was an American Sitcom. Made no sense. So that was out

Tried to align it to the Right. That was Perfect
That was Tight. A great Fit

Problem was he wanted it All
He wanted it All Right and Right now
Leaving no Space for others

I couldn’t Justify it
So I aligned his image to None

Not content playing a role in the peloton
Malcolm wanted to play his own game
And in 2015, he made his move
The mad monk, Tony Abbott was sent peddling into the sunset

Australia now had a new Prime Minister

And in 2016 after a Federal election win
By the narrowest of Margins
Malcolm managed to form a Minority government
Yet it wasn’t long before Malcolm was in a Muddle

Lines would be drawn and crossed
And they would continue to be drawn. And again they’d be crossed
The consequences of running the country on the edge of his Seat in a Divided House
Malcolm would eventually become a Footnote

But the real question lies in the big picture

As a nation, where’s Australia Heading?

To the Margins…
At least we’re all on the same Page

aP

Malcolm Turnbull